Expectations

It can be confusing and nerve-wracking to see a provider for the first time.  Everyone does things differently, and has different requirements.  It’s my goal to put you in an other-worldly state of relaxation and bliss, and any information I can provide you ahead of time will help you get to that state sooner.  Here is a list of expectations, so you may arrive at our session with ease and confidence (well, as much as is possible when meeting someone new).

 

  • Please have a way for me to quickly contact you.  If I’m running late, or have a sudden emergency, I need to make sure you’re going to get my message immediately, either via text, call, or email.  Discretion is very important, and it will put us both in a compromised state if you are loitering around my incall because I can’t reach you.  If I am running late (which rarely happens) I will still provide you with your full session, or reduce my rate to reflect the time lost.

 

  • Please do not arrive early.  I definitely appreciate you planning ahead and making it on time, but timeliness is very important for security and discretion.  If you are early please wait in your car, or a nearby cafe; I will happily text you a suggestion.

 

  • If you are running late, please let me know as soon as possible.  I will do everything I can to rearrange my schedule and provide you your full session length.  However, if I have to be somewhere directly after, I will have to cut our session short and will still require my full rate.

 

  • Please place your donation in an envelope and leave it where I can see it at the very beginning of our session.  Please don’t make me ask for it, or wonder where it is.  If we are meeting in public, place your donation in a greeting card envelope, a gift bag, or a book.  With that out of the way, we can relax and enjoy ourselves.

 

  • Hygiene is very important.  I spend a lot of time and energy preparing for our session.  I have a shower and various sundries for your convenience.  After we have chatted for a bit, I will ask if you’d like to take a shower.  Please say yes, unless you have showered just prior to arriving.  If you are already clean, please excuse yourself to carefully wash your hands, and rinse out your mouth.  If you refuse my shower request, and I find your hygiene level unacceptable, I will interrupt our session and insist you clean up (which will be very awkward, don’t you think?).

 

  • I am a very sensitive woman, as you will soon find out. Please make sure you are either fragrance-free, or wearing all-natural products and scents for our date, as sneezing and nose scrunching can be temporarily adorable, but inconvenient in the long run.  If you are wearing artificial fragrance, please politely excuse yourself to shower.

 

  • If you appear drunk or intoxicated, I will end our session immediately without refund.  I enjoy sharing a glass of wine or cider on occasion with a client, but please arrive sober, and ask before bringing alcohol or medicinal marijuana into my space.  Consent is sexy.

 

  • Speaking of consent, I do everything in my power during our session to make you feel safe, comfortable, and happy.  Please do the same for me.  If you have any special requests, please ask at the beginning of our session (or discreetly via email).  If you surprise me, the answer will probably be, “no.”  If you really surprise me, or push my boundaries, the answer will be “leave immediately.”

 

  • Discretion is key (did I mention that before?).  Please speak in a hushed voice near the entryway.  If the door is open, it’s time for silence.  Pretend you are Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible.  It’s your goal to be as invisible as possible until you get inside my incall, then it’s your goal to let loose.

 

  • If we are meeting in public let’s greet as old friends.  If I don’t know what you look like, make sure to give me a wave and a smile, and I will warmly shake your hand, and say it’s lovely to see you (because it is).